Lately

Feels like I've been exerting my pain on these threads, these post, these outburst and what not.
I'm at that point where all the things that remind me of my past pain is coming to remind me why I AM in pain. I live on that thought that god only gives us a brief taste of heaven only to take it away from us a couple moments later.

Another 3rd part reminds me that its only that Spanish part that reminds me that I'm going to amount to nothing. That same Spanish part that forced my people into a religion that us as "Filipinos" believe. A religion that contains "THE beginning" of civilization and which contains NO evidence of our people what-so-ever!

That is another story though. That right there is an ongoing thought, also an ongoing fight....

Reason for this post is that I'm falling back into the open arms of pain.

Pain has been there for me the longest. I just about find solace in it. Its the most that I can relate with, because its ALWAYS been there.

Every time it comes around, I don't welcome it with open arms, for the fact that it just comes on its own. There is no way to stop it. The only way to deal with it is just let-it-happen.

People always say "things don't work out in life"...in my experiences "things never work out...unless you do something about it"

I hear things about this P.U.S.H. (pray until something happens)
For the many of you who are trying this, I hope things work out for you.
In my world, praying isn't shit, because shit just happens weather you like it or not.
My world may seem pessimistic but the truth is that prayers don't work for me. It especially didn't work out for my late mom, my late grandparents, my late auntie, and my late cousin....R.I.P.....

All my life, its been all about my own two hands.
I'm not sure what started these two hands, but all I know the future was created because of MY OWN TWO HANDS! Its not like I'm trynna imitate god or whatnot, but thats how I really grew up.

I don't care if shit don't work out for the rest of my life....i don't care if you just sit up in your high and mighty chair while i stress and cry about my poor situations,....The most thing I'm proud is that I didn't need YOU to get myself to where I am right now. PUT your challenges on some other fucker who still cares about religion...YOUR religion.....You took so much away from my family... you TOOK my family!...I never asked for you to give your only son for the sake for our sins. If anything, I would have been against it. So don't put your faults on my way of life....If anything, our people believed another being other than YOU! Before King Fucker took over our people....

a little more recognition for the less fortunate such as I,,,,.........