friends

There is this group I grew up with but I no longer chill with. I have my reasons but I can't explain it. Either I have no reason to push them away or I just can't find the words to explain it.

I have my definite friends/family outside of the complex i grew up in. I relate to them perfectly. The best way i can explain my reasons for pushing this certain group away can be explained in a list:

:

1) Hanging out with them isn't the same like back then

2) I can't share info, thoughts, laughter

3) When we hang, I shove away in a corner

Sounds egotistical when I say this but

4) I feel like they aren't on my level.

5) I feel that I'm not progressing in life with them.

6) They do the same thing everytime

7) Hanging with them feels like a waste of time.

The list goes on, but i don't want it to seem like I'm bad mouthing them. A couple months ago, one of them came to my pad. He was very rude, drunk, and disturbing. It was actually a upgrade from what he used to be. I tried to talk and reason with him but he wasn't trying to comprehend my side. He gave that speech about how I acted all high and mighty to hang with them. Basically he was right about a few things.

I guess they became suspicious when I didn't add them on facebook. It's like i can't share my life with them anymore. That love isn't there like it used to be. Consider me a bad person all you want but you can't fit into a shoe that you out grew from years ago.

The friends/Fam I still got is the best.They aren't losers. Imma go all the way with them. With them, I feel progressing in life.They are the ones who make ME!

Fyi, if you on my Facebook,then u know i wasn't talking bout you.

rebirth

4 years now, since my last post. I thought it would be better for me to leave things un said. I guess the more you leave out, the more thoughts stays in your head. Things build up and 4 years later your crazy. The same problem carries on to your real life. You stop saying much and keeps thoughts to yourself.

This is just a theory, but people tend to be alone because they think too much. In those thoughts, they are entertained, think about what to say in a conversations, create scenarios and social situations that has not happened. Thats what I do.

I actually do that often due to the reason that things don't go my way. Society has failed me many times. While this has happened, I still keep that hope that some things, atleast, turn out well.

Its time for a change. Not a different change but more like a revert to how I was a couple years ago......Just minus the problems i gained from the military and constantly popping stacker 2's.

I used to be a deep and createful thinker. That part is still in me, its just hidden in this mess of thoughts.

In order for me to gain it back I shall VENT! Vent like I did before.....

I'm back!